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Let's Talk About Sex

I previously written a post in the past discussing sex with your Kids.  I talked about my oldest son called He's 19 And Still A Virgin. Now, he's 21 and still going strong.  Not because soemthing is wrong with him.  Not that he is unattractive, he is quite handsome. Not that he is not into girls, he loves women. Since becoming a Christian he has become more convicted in his faith.  He is holding out for marriage.  However, I am no here to talk about him.  I am here to talk about what we discuss with our children.

I know we discuss that they shouldn't have sex or if they do they should use protection. Are we really stressing to them not to have sex?  Or we saying to them if they use protection it is ok to have sex?  For a teen that is not a clear line.  In their mind, they think it is ok if "I use protection."  At the same time, are we telling them what having sex is?  I define sex as as oral, regular and most anything between.  Most teens today think oral sex is not really having sex.  They think they are still protected and risk free from any ill harm.  Yes, you can't get pregnant but you still can get a disease. We as adults know that but they don't. 

At the same time, they think that touching and foundling is safe.  We all know that if you start touching and feeling a person starts to open up thoughts and feelings that lead to sex.  I mean even an open-mouth kiss is also an open door.  We talk about the basics of sex but rarely get into what sex is all about. 

We rarely discuss that sex or love making is meant to be an intimate time between a man and woman in the marriage bed.  I said it the marriage bed.  When you have that personal exchange with your partner it is opening your spririt and you innter-twine the two.  If you have sex with a person on a random whim then you are basically having sex with all the people they had sex with.  You are
innner-twining with all those other spiritis good or bad.  I am not saying that to be wierd.  If you believe in God you know what I mean.  Let's not even talk about the issues of breaking up with that person. 

We never say, " Hey, they may be cute now but do you wanna have child with this person? Do you wanna have to deal with this person for the rest of your life?"  Even if you are having protected sex, if you are having sex you still have the possibility of getting preganant. 

I know you might say how can I talk.  I have two kids by two different men. (Let me say both Dads are good men.) However, I know that my past mistakes don't have to be the same mistakes for my children.  I am not a hypocrite at all.  I have learned some lessons. I know that having sex outside of marriage lead to me having children before I was ready and it made things harder for me and their father's. 

I can honestly say I wish I had waited.  Not because I have kids.  Because of the pressure of being in a sexually realtionship are hard enough on the adult mind it is even harder as a teen.  For, me I am waiting.  Waiting until I get married.  Because of my faith.  Because I don't want to open myself to another meaningless realtionship.  I also don't want to put myself through anymore emotional stress.  Also, I have to be an example for my children. 

What are you saying about sex when you talk to your children?

1 comment:

kita said...

My kids are little but I am ready to have the convo with my kids as soon as they are of age. My mom did not have a talk with me she just told me to wrap it up and practice safe sex she never really told me anything about it. I wish I had waited also it would have saved a lot of pain and anger because when you have sex it involves feelings which can lead to heartbreak.

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